Urban Life: Staff Picks

Best Empty Green Space: The riverfront patch of land once known as Ohio River Grass sits vacant, awaiting new owners to preserve the sculpture garden for a new era of visitors. The land, just off Eastern Avenue right before the junction of Delta and Kellogg, once home to local sculpture artist Stuart Fink and more recently nursery owners Cooper and Ann Vogel Burchenal, is up for sale and in need of arts patrons who see the value in such an urban oasis.

The Best Inner-City Green: Have a few minutes between appointments or a desire to eat lunch outside for a change? The Imago Earth Center is a 16-acre nature preserve just five minutes from downtown in Price Hill. More than creating just another pretty space, Imago is committed to green building practices and educating adults through the "Earth and Spirit" program. They talk the talk and and walk the walk - among the trees, of course. 700 Enright Ave., Price Hill, 513-921-8455

photo: sean hugheseCincinnati Observatory Photo: Jon Hughes/Photopresse.com

Best Drug-Free Hallucination:
Meteor Showers
According to Cincinnati Observatory Center Outreach Astronomer Dean Regas, the Orionids Meteor Shower should, if weather permits, deliver an exciting display of 10 to 25 shooting stars per hour when they make their appearance Oct. 20-21. Regas says meteor showers are "kind of fickle," so the quality of the show can be a shot in the dark (ba bump), but a clear, late night without interference from city lights could provide quite a show. The folks at the Observatory will be gathering in Clermont County's Stonelick Park, he says. Those willing to make the late night trip - some people stay out all night to watch, Regas says - will be rewarded with views of what are bits and pieces of Halley's Comet. This is an annual light show, featuring debris from the comet, often as small as grains of sand. These meteoroids hit Earth-s atmosphere at nearly 90,000 mph and create a streak of light as they burn. For more information, call the Observatory at 513-321-5186 or click on www.cincinnatiobservatory.org.

Best Public Architecture: University of Cincinnati Recreation Center
The sleek grey exterior, angled front and long, horizontal window slits of Los Angeles-based architect Thomas Maynes' new recreation center on the UC campus make a grand impact powerful enough to forgive the haphazard nature of the crowded urban campus. Maynes recently won the Pritzker Prize, the architecture community's equivalent of an Oscar, for his body of work. Still, there's no doubting that this Cincinnati commission is his standout building. Drivers along Martin Luther King Drive enjoy a long view of the striking building, but this one beckons passersby to park their cars and take an up-close look.

Best Blues When It's Freezing: After its successful 13th annual Cincy Blues Fest this past summer, the Cincinnati Blues Society launched the inaugural Winter Blues Fest at several clubs in Covington's MainStrasse entertainment district. The festival featured several of the area's finest Blues acts and raised funds for the innovative "Blues in the Schools" program, which sends local musicians into area schools to educate the next generation about the history and importance of the precious American artform. Great concept, as the heating effects of the Blues are well documented. www.cincyblues.org.

Best New Street Festival: Last summer several ambitious organizers tried to make things happen every Sunday on Over-the-Rhine's Main Street. That proved a bit too much - or not enough, since attendance was too thin - but we applaud the effort, and we're glad they're giving it another try. For 2006, from May through October on a once-a-month basis you can enjoy Second Sunday on Main. New features will include a signature chef each month, brunch at several restaurants, wine tasting, musical talent (from Jake Speed to Iswhat?!), plus lots of street vendors and psychics. Sounds like a perfect reason to bring friends to see what the urban core has to offer.

Best Returning Festival: After their eventual post-riots exit from the local concert scene, organizers brought back the local tradition that is the Jazz Festival (properly known now as the Macy's Music Festival) last summer. Wrapped up in a nice bow as a part of the "Music Fusion" series of local concerts all falling in the same week, the Macy's Fest returned longtime standbys like Patti Labelle, Maze and The Whispers (as well as young wiper-snappers like Kanye West) for the August date at Paul Brown Stadium.

Best Ethnic Festival: Now in its 13th year, the annual Hispanic Festival presents a menagerie of Latin music, dance and food and expects to draw more than 20,000 people Sept. 9-10. The festival started at St. Charles Borromeo Church in Carthage and has since moved to the Hamilton County Fairgrounds. Admission is free, and parking costs $3. Around 40 musical acts will be performing throughout the event. Call 513-761-1588 for more information.

Best Local Documentary: April Martin's The Color of Justice is subtitled "A History of Cincinnati's Race Riots 1792-2001" - an issue that should hit home with all of us. Martin has dedicated her mind, body and soul to this project, and it shows. Stemming from the city's riots in 2001 after the death of Timothy Thomas, this documentary goes back to the city's oppressive military rule in 1792, including the torching of the Hamilton County Courthouse during the 1884 riots. An intense impression from an intense documentary covering an intense issue.

Best Place for a Shotgun Wedding: Justice of the Peace
"People using my services at the office are poor, rich and in between," Justice of the Peace Steve Hoffman says. "Basically people who want something kind of nice and easy." He offers quick wedding services in his Covington office for $65 and lasting as little as a few minutes. Hoffman, who also offers traditional officiant services, says he's done weddings for prisoners, folks who have exchanged Ring Pops during the ceremony and couples on the way to the hospital to deliver a baby.

"I had one last year who broke her water during the ceremony," he says. Hoffman says he broke into an auctioneer's rendition of the pronouncement and made sure they kissed before they drove off.
It's the marriage equivalent of a Polaroid, but Hoffman says, "I still try to do it the right way. This is not something to sneeze at. ItÕs a big moment in peoples lives whether they're having it in my office or they're spending $50,000."
331 Court St., Covington, 859-292-8883.

The Best Social Service Underdog: Nobody likes criminals, except maybe their families. Even though people claim to want criminals to become "productive members of society," there are more roadblocks than support for that effort. Ohio Justice and Policy Center works for progressive prison reform, fights prison violations of civil rights, empowers prisoners to improve their lives (inside of prison and out) and advocates the abolition of the death penalty. 617 Vine St., Downtown, 513-421-1108

Best Way to Use Your One Phone Call: At least Justice Watch's Mike Howard is the man you want to know if you're every going to be set free. Howard knows almost everyone involved in prisoner reentry issues and speaks the language of the streets. Now reformed and a minister, he once did time himself and has an intimate understanding of the challenges facing convicts and the disease of addiction. Howard operates the Garden Street transitional home for men in the West End and can be reached at 513-241-0490.

Best Hope for Integration: The Know Theatre Tribe's new home and the emerging Vine Street arts district. The Know's new digs on Jackson Street are just a block from the new home of the Art Academy of Cincinnati and Ensemble Theatre of Cincinnati. The Know, which has presented some of the city's most controversial and inclusive work, might serve a bridge between the neighborhood residents, many of whom are black and poor and the diverse group of professional urbanists who support the theater. 1120 Jackson St., Over-the-Rhine, 513-300-KNOW.

Best Place for Peace and Quiet: Inner-city madness can wear on even the most intrepid city dweller, and sometimes you just want a bit of solitude. The Cincinnati Public Library's Downtown Branch has patrons that still observe the custom of keeping their lips sealed when they're among the tomes. The rooftop area is especially secluded and affords a nice view of the streets below. 800 Vine St., Downtown, 513-369-6900.

Best Restroom for Peace and Quiet: Joseph-Beth is a great place to read and is also a great place to read in the john - though we're guessing they'll want you to buy the latest Harry Potter book before you take it with you to the chamberpot of secrets. Jo-Beth's restrooms are consistently and meticulously clean and have reading material (such as the store's calendar of events) posted right in the stalls. Please put the seat down and leave us a copy of CityBeat in case we forget to bring our own. 2692 Madison Road, Norwood, 513-396-8960.

Best Natural Light You Can Enjoy Indoors: The Krohn Conservatory, Cincinnati's year-round urban garden, houses more than 3,500 plant species from around the globe. Visitors will find many exotic plants in natural settings and a soothing rainforest waterfall that will make you dream of the tropics. It's a glass house, so the quality of natural light is the best found inside a building in Cincinnati. A $5 donation is requested for entry. Free WiFi is available on site. 1501 Eden Park Dr., Walnut Hills/Mount Adams, 513-421-5707

Best Place to Milk a Goat: Parky's Farm, a 100-acre demonstration farm that includes crops, live farm animals and a play area for children, is still the best way for parents and kids to reconnect with Mother Earth. The park also features a man-made lake with pedal boats and miles of hiking trails. 10073 Daly Road, Forest Park, 513-521-PARK.

Best Place for a Picnic Under an Oak Tree: Brimming over with winding roads, scenic vistas and nature trails, Ault Park sets a romantic scene for a picnic with your sweetie. The archaic pavilion and picturesque gardens give you plenty of room to roam as well. The lavish formal garden offers many places to sit and gaze at the beauty around you or in each other's eyes. 3600 Observatory Ave., Hyde Park.

Best Time Waster: It's the middle of winter, and the coldness makes you not want to do much more than get drunk and watch football. But Carson Williams of Mason found something more constructive to do. Well, slightly. After erecting a ridiculously intricate computerized Christmas lights display (synchronized to the horrendous sounds of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra), the electrical engineer got his 15 minutes of fame when video began making the rounds on the Internet, leading to national attention from various news and entertainment programs. He extended those 15 minutes when the display was featured in a Miller Lite commercial in December. He also gets "Best Money Waster" - the whole display reportedly cost $10,000 to set up (though the Miller deal likely more than made up for it).

Best Traffic Light to Lose Your Mind at: The light at Rybolt Road and Harrison Avenue is a complete nightmare, the result of several developments in the area in recent years. Help is on the way, as plans are in the works to alleviate the problem via lane-widening; in the meantime we can still finish the New York Times crossword on the way to work.

Best Over-Used Classification: If you're not a Young Professional, you'll either be one soon or wish you still were. If you are one, congratulations. And whether you are or you're not, you're familiar with the term. It's the hot demographic label, spun off from author Richard Florida's book, Rise of the Creative Class. Sometimes the age range is 25-34, other times it's 25-45 and it could be 23-45; no one is really sure. But "young professional" (aka YP) is the term used to define a growing class of young workers with a variety of professions, a growing disposable income and a desire to affect his or her community. And every business and group wants to tap into them. But after five years of hearing "young professional" talk, the term has almost begun to lose its meaning and impact.

Best Tour for Out-of-Towners: Cincinnati's shining urban star is still Mount Adams. An evening on the hill, on most any day of the week, is sure to be a fun jaunt for you and your guests. A thriving club scene, stunning views, good eats and easy access to Eden Park make for a fun way for newbies to discover some of what the city has to offer. www.mtadamstoday.com

Best Abandoned Buildings: The buildings on the south side of Findlay Market are some of the best, or at least the most promising, vacancies in town. Sure, they've seen better days, but with the bustling, daily foot traffic at the urban marketplace they'll be a solid investment for a person with the right plan. Near the intersection of Findlay and Elm streets, Over-the-Rhine.

Best Pick-Me-Up for Elvis Fans: The Conrad Building, better known as the site of Provident Camera downtown, is home to what's probably the coolest elevator in the city. This old-school people mover, complete with a crank drive floor selector, makes normal lifts look like dumbwaiters. Maxine the elevator operator has set up an elaborate shrine to Elvis, complete with a black velvet painting, a red carpet and photos of the King's court of friends. 18 W. Seventh St., Downtown, no phone.

The Best Way to Get Wet: Whether you like to swim laps, do water aerobics, sauna, hot tub or get sweaty while running on an indoor track, lifting weights (machine of free weights) or climbing a never-ending set of stairs a la stair climbing apparatus, the YWCA downtown is the best place to go for getting wet. The Tri-Health staff that manages the facility tailors your work out match your fitness goals and capabilities free of charge. Oh, and they have bottled water on site, too. 898 Walnut St., Downtown, 513-241-7090

Best Place to Meet Friendly Cross-Dressers: The best place to find a queen is Pride Night at Paramount's Kings Island. Female illusionists, led by Pride Night Show Director Quasi, perform pop, show tunes and torch songs at the annual event. Limited access to rides and comedic theater are also featured. The Sept. 29 event is the Gay and Lesbian Community Center's biggest fund-raiser. Details at www.glbtcentercincinnati.com or by calling 513-591-0200.

Best Absolute Craziness Dog Fun: They say every dog has its day, and at the Beach Waterpark that would be the last day of the season, September 10. On Doggie Day, dogs are free to swim in the wave pool (minus the waves) to their heart's content. There's no extra fee for your four-legged pal to join you, but it might take some extra time in the laundry to get the wet dog smell out of your swimsuit. 2590 Water Park Dr., Mason, 513-398-SWIM

Best Way to Walk Your 'Hood: A little training (with a police ride-along) - and you get to stroll your 'hood with your neighbors in snazzy "Citizens on Patrol" attire looking for crime. Volunteers in 24 different Cincinnati neighborhoods work to make their communities safer by acting as another roving set of eyes for the police. Team members report on crimes in progress and look for suspicious activities. They also help reduce crime by serving as visible deterrents to would-be crooks. Any local can apply to participate at www.cincinnati-oh.gov/police.