Best Deals:UC's public property auction every Thursday from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Computers, desks, chairs, file cabinets and all kinds of office stuff, in pretty decent shape and at incredible prices. Check out the Web site for a list of what's available each week. Shhhh, don't tell anyone. www.uc.edu/propertycontrol.

Best Place for Eyeglass Fetishist: Eye 1, where the offerings focus on European designs. It's Manhattan impressive - so many cool frames you wish you had two heads. Best news of all is word of Eye 1's plans to open a location in Hyde Park Square. Soon, a road trip won't be necessary for some designer specs. Eye 1, 1525 Xenia Ave., Yellow Springs, 937-767-7087.

Best Place to Repair Your Manhola Blahniks: Frenchman's Shoe Repair. Dreams of a downtown Nordstrom department store has pushed Kathman's into early retirement. Luckily, a trip to Covington will put new life into your three-inch designer spikes. It's the sole savior for Cincy's foot-obsessed. Frenchman's Shoe Repair, 703 Madison Ave, Covington, 431-0339.

Best Store for Teddy Bears: Stuffed Animal Crackers, a small, intimate toy store in on the West side where the owner knows her customers by first name. She'll even let you buy teddy bears on layaway. Stuffed Animal Crackers, 3627 Glenmore Ave., Western Hills, 662-6200.

Best Store for Winnie the Pooh: For bears of a different order, try Michael's in Clifton, where you'll find lots of versions of Winnie, Piglet, Tigger and Christopher Robin - stuffed, miniatures, key chains, ornaments, games and clothing. A good selection of Madeline paraphernalia, too. Michael's Ludlow Village, 329 Ludlow Ave., Clifton, 221-8030.

Best Drycleaners: Apparel Care in Finneytown, where they mend regular customers' clothes without being asked, they always round down the prices and they always return your stuff. The only surprises here are good ones. Apparel Care, 8610 Winton Road, Finneytown, 521-0187.

Best Place to Hold a Boring Business Meeting: Go Bananas Comedy Club, which now is renting its comedy club during the day as meeting space for up to 220 of your employees. They've got a 100-inch projector TV screen with video capabilities, and they throw in jokes from a national touring comedian. Go Bananas Comedy Club, 8410 Market Place Lane, Montgomery, 984-0241.

Best Place to Hold Your Kid's Birthday Party: Pete Delois' Recreation Outlet, where for $60 they let you bring in 15 kids to their Rainbow playset showroom for a pizza party. A rainy day? Doesn't matter, since all the playsets are on an indoor playground. Pete Delois' Recreation Outlet, 7605 Wooster Pike, Mariemont, 561-8695.

Best Yoga Fix: The Cincinnati Yoga School & Bookstore, offering day and night workshops as well as books, tapes, supplies and everything you could possibly need as an amateur or pro. Cincinnati Yoga School & Bookstore, 11130 Kenwood Road, Blue Ash, 247-YOGA.

Best Boutique for the Thirsty: Freeport Attractions gift shop and gallery. Store owner Sharon Kinder-Geiger spent six years in Europe. It shows. Among the hand-blown glass and clocks is a tearoom offering cakes and coffees. Freeport Attractions, 104 Main St., Milford, 831-8454.

Best Happy Birthday, Congratulations and Get Well Soon: Intuitive offers a great selection of hilarious, rude, imaginative greeting cards. It's almost like we dug up an old family photo album and made the cards ourselves. Intuitive, 913 Vine St., Downtown, 721-6772.

Best Place to Have the Munchies, the Cramps and Insomnia: Drug Emporium at Norwood's Rookwood Commons is open 24-7 with a great selection - and you don't have to deal with all the freaks and geeks who hang out at the Walgreen's in Corryville. It's a better class of freak and geek because people think they're in Hyde Park. Drug Emporium, 2692 Madison Road, Norwood, 631-0720 (and other locations around Greater Cincinnati).

Best Place to Buy Music from People Who Care About Music: Shake It, the small store that opened in the last year in Northside. Operated by the Blase brothers, who run a specialty record label by the same name, Shake It is a haven for folks who want to hang out, talk about obscure music and buy hard-to-find CDs. Shake It Records, 4183 Hamilton Ave., Northside, 591-0123.

Best Bargain Styling: The Aveda Institute in Hyde Park charges just $9 for haircuts, $10 for manicures and $15.50 for pedicures. Senior students perform the services using all Aveda products. Aveda Fredric's Institute, 3654 Edwards Road, Hyde Park, 533-0700.

Best New Store With Incredible Merchandise: From The Ridiculous To The Sublime is jammed with one-of-a-kind gift items for your sweetie, your child and your dog, and all of it's pretty affordable. Plus it's a cool place to hang. From The Ridiculous To The Sublime, 2030 Madison Road, O'Bryonville, 533-0500.

Best Hard-to-Find Books: The third floor of Ohio Book Store downtown. Where else can you buy only a single volume of Othello from a multi-volume set of Shakespeare and peruse through Catholic school dos and don'ts published by the Archdiocese of Cincinnati? The definition of "eclectic." Ohio Book Store, 726 Main St., Downtown, 621-5142.

Best Source for Audio Books: Earful of Books, a store devoted exclusively to audio books. You'll encounter 7,000 titles, for rent or purchase, on both cassette and CD. A "sound dome" allows you to sample selections without resorting to headphones. Earful of Books, 7328 Kenwood Road, Kenwood, 984-4553.

Best Way to Avoid Orange Barrels: Rent a charter helicopter from Jet Helicopter. The Bell Longranger IV seats six and comes complete with pilot. Who needs John Philips? Jet Helicopter, 9501 Union Cemetery Road, Loveland, 677-0060.

Best Foil and Thrust: At the Salle Du Lion Fencing Center, where they teach children and beginners the ins and outs of fencing: foil, epee, sabra, theatrical combat and more. En guarde! Salle Du Lion Fencing Center, Main Street at Creek Road, Sharonville, 733-9840.

Best Carryout Sandwich: The roast beef/ham doubledecker at the Silverton Cafe. At $3.65, this giant sandwich packs an economic wallop. It's compact and stays together, making it a hearty lunch that's easy to eat on the run. Silverton Cafe, 7201 Montgomery Road, Silverton, 791-2922.

Best Coffee Break on the Loveland Bike Trail: At the Loveland Mill, where owners Amy Goode and Peggy Tanis have just renovated the place to give it a rustic feel, with lots of wood and a fireplace. Gourmet coffee, teas, juices and a lunch menu are served. It's open seven days a week beginning at 6 a.m. for the serious biker. Loveland Mill, West Main Street and the Loveland Bike Trail, Loveland, 774-7854.

Best Fruitcake Cookie: A narrow category, granted. But if you want a taste of fruitcake without having to buy a one-pound tin of the stuff (that never seems to get completely consumed), try a single nutty, sweet fruitcake cookie at the Cookie Jar. Cookie Jar, 919 Monmouth St., Newport, 261-3345.

Best Local Vintage: Purple Trillium from the Burnet Ridge Winery. Winemaker Chip Emmerich ships in grapes from California to produce this prize-winning blend of cabernet sauvignon and merlot. How hot is it? Emmerich found himself pouring a glass recently for President Clinton at a ritzy fund-raising gala. Other wines bottled here include Melange a Trois Chardonnay and Sonoma County Pinot Noir. Burnet Ridge Winery, 6721 Richard Ave., North College Hill, 522-4203. If the winery itself isn't open, Purple Trillium is sold at Piazza Discepoli Wine Merchants, 5901 Hamilton Ave., College Hill, 681-8466.

Best Vegetarian Lasagna: The black bean lasagna at the Red Apple Deli, made with absolutely no pasta or dairy products. The deli fabricates it from corn tortillas, soy cheddar, black beans and tomato sauce. Red Apple Deli, 6911 Miami Ave., Madeira, 271-7777.

Best Beef Bourgignonne to Go: The dish served by the pint on a first-come, first-served basis at The Lazy Gourmet. Try it with the loaded potato soup. The Lazy Gourmet, 9719 Montgomery Road, Montgomery, 793-2266.

Best Peach Pie: The Georgia peach pie whipped up and served every day at Riley's. Reminds us of the wonderful creations served up in Savannah, Ga. The South shall rise again, but only in the form of yeast. Riley's, Greenhills Shopping Center, 18 Eswin St., Greenhills, 851-8810.

Best Place to Find Nathan's New York Hot Dogs: At the Cincinnati airport. These famous dogs come complete with chili and kraut, the best import from the Big Apple since bagels and cream cheese. (For a high cholesterol dessert, head over to Cinnabon for the tastiest cinnamon roll around.) Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs, Delta's Concourse A, Greater Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport, no phone number.

Best Place to Find an Edible Eyeball: Cincinnati Cake and Candy is the best supply store around for serious cake bakers. You'll find everything you need from start to finish - from a wide variety of pan sizes to "clear" vanilla to a wall of cookie-cutters to almost anything edible you can think to put on a cake (including eyeballs). Cincinnati Cake and Candy Supply, 1785 E. Galbraith Road, Reading, 821-6161.

Best San Francisco Sourdough Loaf: At the Camargo Baking Co., where owners Ethan Schatz and Debby Gerber come from careers working at San Francisco restaurants. There are shelves of breads, baguettes, cookies and pastries to boot. Camargo Baking Co., 6927 Miami Ave., Madeira, 561-5673.

Best Expansion Franchise: The opening of a second Le Cezanne, this one for East siders. The original Wyoming bakery brings its croissants, brioche and pastries to Hyde Park. Le Cezanne, 2727 Erie Ave., Hyde Park,
533-3110.

Best Expansion Down the Street: Toko Baru, the wonderful clothing store in Clifton, moved into bigger digs on Ludlow and kept its small shop on Telford for furnishings. Two, two, two Toko Barus. Toko Baru, 327 Ludlow Ave. and 3408 Telford St., Clifton, 751-3338.

Best Adult Beverage: Mackeson's XXX Stout, brewed locally by Hudy/Schoenling. A meal in a bottle.